The end of a race

[Updated @ 8pm 25th August]
so much so for typing so much end up internet connection prob. -.- have to retype. Not for the first time blogging in sch.

The race ended for me, much earlier den I have expected. Yup, we didnt make it thru for suntec final. The music started and we all can’t hear it. *Poof* there goes our entertaining opening moves. Den we all started panic and all.. But still, I think I didnt show a sign of -.-’ . I know I keep smiling for the whole dance. Dunno why. haha.. But I guess when we didnt start of good, all my steps all become chui. -.-’ Didn’t even know wat did I do. Can clearly be heard in video that the music fade in. -.-’ Damn. If not we will have make it to finals with the other 2 teams from TP.
I teared after our turn on stage. Didnt really want to tear at first, eyes just filled with it when all the concern from people came about. I’m just disappointed of myself.

I know it’s already a fact and get over with it. I’ve already get over with. Pls dun tell me to face it and learn from it and do better next time. I oso know to face it, I’ve already face it right. It’s just a moment of disappointment. Who doesnt feel disappointed after been thru the toughest period? I just feel I didn’t do my best.

The journey ends, it’s not about not getting into finals that make me feel disappointed. No, I didn’t think it that way definitely, not even once. It’s the process of the competition we went through, the late night trainings, the team bonding chat, the hard work we’ve put in for the things we worked hard for and believing we will get into finals since the start but end up not getting there . Yup, I think this is then the real reason why I feel disappointed and sad of not getting into final. It’s already enough of having crowd that we dunno shouted for our name when the Emcee asked who they think should for the last name to be called.

Our Journey – Suntec Auditions

Our Growth – Suntec Heats 2

Our Regrets – Suntec Semi-final

Thanks for all the concern and support. Here’s a shout out.
Thanks Darren, for always believing and supporting me. Thanks you so much for the concern on sat. You’ve been a great fren and a dance mate since I know you, though we only knew each other for less than a year, but yeah, it’s a Eight7 chemist thing. haha. Thanks so much and All the best for your KOnite Final.

Thanks Samantha, for your concern and always telling me to takecare of my back.
Thanks Joey, for the sms after the competition.
Thanks Meichin for the concern and anything else.
Thanks Joycelyn for the concern and anything else too.
Thanks Stephanie for the support.
Thanks Beautrice, though we not really close, but yah, thanx for the encouragement and anything else.
Thanks Katherine for the support too
Thanks Iris for asking how am I and ask me dun emo. lol. I’m not emo-ing, I’m just tired.
(Basically, thanks to all reVogue girl, thanks for shouting for Urban Stance when there’s only 1 place left. I shouted for you all too. )

Thanks Jean, for the constantly concern and yup. Thanks alot.
Thanks Weiqiang, for the support and concern too. I can feel it. Thanks sincerely.
Thanks Kaiwen, for believing we should get in too.
Thanks Serene, for everything and anything.
Thanks Danny, for the support too.
Thanks Frankie, for the massage each time before the competition.
Thanks Suria, for noticing my disappointment.
Thanks TPDE for the ultimate support.

Thanx HRCrew for the support you all have given me all this while. Your BaoBao and his team didnt get in to finals. But hope I still make you all proud from this competition.
Thanks Grace for the unexpected sms.
Thanks Kexin for the sms too.
Thanks Karen for the support each time
Thanks Yvonne for the concern.
Thanks Melvin for saying I improved after audition and heats.
I’ve got the greatest support for you people all this while. Love you people. Thanks for all the shouts of my name or Bao. I heard it clearly in the videos. haha.. And yah.. Jin Wen. I heard a YEAH in the heats video. I guess that was you? haha..

This is for Urban Stance
Timothy(the leader): All being disturbed by us yet nv got angry before. Thanks for being there with us even you can’t dance with us. Takecare of your back and rest well.
Andreas(the fake leader): The leader wanna be. haha. Thanks for your effort in leading the group by taking the lead from tim. lol..
Raazmy(the TAN Brothers): Thanks for guiding the rest of us with your experience. Definitely learnt something from you.
Royston(the TAN Brothers): Thanks for your bimboness, which make the training enjoyable apart from those tiring day.
Andy (the record holder of scolding vulgarities): Thanks for donating to USC fund. haha.. Thanks for the hardwork you put in for the team while having to struggle with studies.
JunJi(the blur face): You improved, no more blur face while dancing. Oh man, you make me feel why am I not improving like you do. Jia you for more breakthrough.
Nelson(the stone face): Thanks for the massage, the concern, the random things you do that makes training fun. Thanks for the effort for the group too.

I believed we’ve inspired at least 1, people who don’t know us,don’t know bout dance.
I believed the stage is ours just that we have to say goodbye to it earlier.
I believed we’ve grow stronger and breakthrough for this round.
I believed that we entertained the crowd during semi-final.
I believed our effort pays off even though we didn’t get in.
I believed that there’s a bigger opportunity for us.
I believed people will remember US.
I believed everyone in the team.

Go The Independent Crew and reVogue. Burn the final’s stage for us. Win tat place back like how much we will do it too if we have the chance. But remember, share the prize with us oso. hahaha.. kidding.. Chiong chiong chiong!!!

Oh well, after the competition on sat, went to aston for dinner. When outside wating for seats, my heart felt pain. I’m not joking or acting if anyone thinks I am (Cos I always like have backpain or other injury. Too much of this shown out people will think I’m jus trying to get attention. Dunno why people want to think like that oso. -.-’ I already tried walking away when I felt the pain for the 1st time). It’s like, someone taking a knife, stabbing in the corner of my heart few times. It’s damn freaking pain, till it make me squat. But lucky it lasted not long. I think about 6 stabs in my heart? I can vividly remembered it’s the bottom right corner of my heart. Gosh. What happened?

You'll nv have the chance to watch me dance, yet and again.  

well, I guess I’ve blabbered enough. Junwei gonna take a few day rest from dance and mayb back to HRCrew to dance again. Finally, I can rest my body for further breakthrough and improvement. Did I breakthrough and improved even in the first place? haha.. Jia you Jia you!!! Takecare people.. Till den.

Video Credit to: Clubdaa(Bgirl Jas).

Chiong Chiong Chiong!

hectic days/weeks for me, my team and the rest of the suntec teams.
late nite training and last min stuff turns everyone into walking zombie.. I could practically sleep and walk at the same time any moment. At long as there’s a short time break, i can doze off in like less den 30sec. *Self dope*

It’s really up to us now to make things happen for suntec. Have to be independent too. Imagine one nite before our Suntec Heats where few of our transitions and stuff is not done and we are waiting for Gin to help us with it as she said she will,
Gin told us: “Jia you guys. You can do it.” So we have no choice. We have to do the things ourself.. I guess anger was feel at that moment. So we did the transition and all in like half an hr where we took bout 2hr before that waiting for Gin.

Ok. But our effort pays off. I was so anxious bout how we gonna make it for our Heats. So on saturday nite, after I reach home, I chanted awhile, prayed that everyone will be in high-life condition, everyone tp enjoy the dance, good health, accident-free training and safety of everyone and last but not least, For US(Urban Stance) to inspired people and able to touched everyone life.
I guess all my prayer came true. Everyone was so in high-life condition that morning even though all of us didnt sleep well.
The crowd yesterday was super duper encouraging.. The cheer, the claps and everything else was amazingly amazed.. When we ended our dance with the last pose, the whole place went wild. The cheer is like surrounded sound… It’s like blasting cheers for bout 5-10sec. Thanx everyone who support us. Hopefully it’s not just our own friends cheered for us. Hopefully it’s like strangers and people who enjoyed our dance. Thank you all so much.

Thanx Beautric, Joycelyn and Meichin for the encouraging sms.
Thanx to the rest of TPDE who came down to support.
Congrats to reVogue and The Independent Crew oso. Let’s all chiong chiong chiong!!!! Let’s make TPDE shine even more. Let’s all TPDE work harder together as one.

Thanx HRCrew for always being there to support me. You all give me the best encouragement to work even harder each time. Love you guys very the muchie. lol… I heard my name being shouted.. Thanx
But one thing, HRC please do not wave to me when the song is so emo..Make me one laugh oso cannot sia. Later my expression change how? haha.But I think I got no expression of Addicted. I guess cannot feel the song liao. Numb to it after listen for too much time.

I guess you didnt come to watch the competition even though I msged you about it. You didnt even reply anything. Received your msg,thought you came. but is not bout the competition. Abit disappointed lah. haha.. but nvm. Still got Semi-Final. Hopefully you will go watch and support. I must work harder to get in Final, in case you didnt come during Semi-Final oso.
Anyway.how are you and your bf? Argh.I’m so contradicting.I hope to be with you again when I found out ur r/s got prob, yet I wished you can stay happy with him. -.-’ What sia..

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I’m missing you
& I’m wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I’m all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it’s a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
It’s been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can’t do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain’t like that
Why can’t you look at me, your still in love with me
Don’t leave me crying.
Baby why can’t we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don”t know what else i can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I’m fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I’ll wait for you

Just a lyric which I think it’s nice to express what I feel.. Please do no think that I’m emo-ing. Not feeling saf here. Just some Feeling. lol.

I guess I shall stop here. Will post photo up when I RECEIVE the photos I ought to received. haha.. Chiong Chiong Chiong!!!!

I’m a happy Bao!

This post supposed to be posted on monday 11th August. Due to busy person I am. Here it is.

I’m on Cloud nine! Cloud Nine: A phrase meaning happy, euphoric or ‘high’

Why am I happy? As easy as anyone can guess it, the same reason why I will emo.
I’m lazy to repeat the story already. But I’m happy to share it, mayb here.

It all started with my previous msn nick: “you took my heart away for a very long time, and since left, you still havent return to me. How am I going to love another?”

Didn’t expect you to come and ask me am I referring to you. And Gosh. You’ve been reading my blog all this while. FAINT…. to the max. But ya, as always, you would ask me to be strong, all this is fate and blah blah and at least I have you for once. True, at least I have you ask my gf for once. I’m happy enough.

I wanna BISH your current bf. Ok. Although I wont beat people, but really, he’s over.. how can he cheat on you. Damn him.. and why did you still want to hold on to him. Ok. Mayb you dun wanna affect his studies now as he got exam. But I think you should leave him. No need to care bout affecting him when he’s affecting you. One word to describe him, he’s a Bastard.
I told you to leave him, of cos not becos I want you to leave him and be back with me again. (Of cos as much as I wished it would be the case if you would be with me again =P I would be over the cloud. Over cloud nine. I think will be till cloud 100. haha) Leave him for the sake of your own happiness. It’s not you that make your 1st bf and this current bf to cheat on you. Dun think it that why please. It’s just that you haven’t meet the right person.

I expressed how I feel to you. Said alot, but you dun seemed to respond much to wat I say. only for some. haha. Dunno if you got read everything. I say I wished for that (you to be back with me) for my 21st birthday but it nv come true. It’s been a long time since I hear you say or see you typed the word my dear. And I quite high when I see it. I know the “my dear”, it’s not those affection type of “my dear”. You told me dun worry, I will get one better den you. Knew you would said that. But when I told you that whenever I walk past some places, will remind me of you and the things we do, I felt sweet. Den you confessed to me that during those days you when you were really down you actually tot of me. Just this sentence alone can make me happy. I dunno when is the last time that you tot of me lah, but still I’m super duper happy and glad that you actually still think of me. And to add on to my happiness, you said that among most boyfriends or guys you have, I’m the nicest guy ever.  and you say sometimes it just make you want to compare me with your current bf. haha.. I dunno why, sometimes you just seemed to give me abit of hope, yet it vanished with the sentence “you will get a better one den me”.

I just keep toking bout like our past, like the only 1 small quarrel we had in our 8month of r/s. which is like damn lame. Make you angry by just not helping you to pick up the items you drop while looking and still at the side say you: “see la see la”. Den you got angry and we didnt talk the whole journey back to your home. Lol. And den after, you indirectly say me. Someone make me angry den dunno how to apologies, at there act Back ache… hahaha.. I act backache you oso know. lol. know me too well. I dunno how to start mah. Den I dunno how to say sorry, cos I think you will still be angry. But is not a full act of backache. It’s really having ache in the back. hmm.. Ok. now that I know how to express more: “I’m sorry dear” haha. like now say got use like that.. it’s over and it’s like almost 2 years ago when the “arguement” happened.

Still got lots of stuff I said lah. But den, ok. not going to describe everything. If not, I might just simply copy and paste the whole convo here. haha.. I’m really very happy to talk to you. And know that I still do stand a place in your heart, I guess? hmm.. Not pinning too much hope or wat. If not I’ll fall harder.

我是个白痴, 因为最后我还是选择了祝福你和他

看到你开心我会更快乐                                   再爱我一次好吗?

Guidance from Ikeda Sensei
True love should be transformative, a process that amplifies our capacity to cherish not just one person but all people. It can make us stronger, lift us higher and deepen us as individuals. Only to the extent that one polishes oneself now can one hope to develop wonderful bonds of the heart in the future.